I was asked recently how to stop judging ourselves and others? This is a big one for many people especially in the world we are living in now where all of us are becoming more and more connected, unified yet there are clear separation.
Let me start with my favorite statement, ‘Comparison robs you from joy,’ and I mean it. Here is the thing, when you compare yourself to others, whether you think are doing better than them or worst than them, comparison puts you in this spot where you essentially lose touch with yourself. I really believe that before you seek for love button, like button or wonderful comments from other people, we need to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and love and approve who we see in the mirror reflecting back.
When you compare yourself to other people, you lose touch with the unique essence that makes you – you. There are over 7.8 billion people in the world and yet, only you have the story you do, the history that you do and the essence that is just so you – it’s your own special DNA that makes life interesting and add value to the community. When you judge yourself, you are prone to judge others and so for us to really stop judging other people, it’s to come back and make it right within ourselves.
Victor shared with me a wonderful insight last month, for me to keep forgiving my own thoughts, my own limited beliefs, my own criticism and ideas of the world because essentially whatever I attract in to my life be it the emotions, relationships, physical conditions and even conflict in communication – the anger and resentment that I might feel it’s ME. It’s not about the other person alone, it’s me who is also responsible. It came to me at such a wonderful time last month while I was making some shift in my career and now, I just forgive my own thoughts and judgement.
I am extending this same wisdom to you, I know you are needing this. We all need this.
Yes, there are things that we need to discern and see the truth of how things really are, how the situation really is, what’s the pros and the cons, the light and dark. Discernment brings clarity, confidence and calmness to your life so you can make better decisions and step into your own greatness.
Judgement on the other hand is reactive and fueled by criticism, it often leaves you feeling heavy. It’s that energy of wanting to be right rather than looking at the truth beyond the illusions.
The moment that liberates me from the judgement is the moment when I stopped judging myself. When I looked at my own body and be totally in love with it. It’s the moment when I had the ability to discern what I need to improve and do it from that place of wholeness.
Releasing judgment can help you to feel more free in your body, mind and spirit. It can also help you to improve relationships with people and especially relationship with yourself. When you are able to have kindness, compassion and release judgment on yourself, you are able to extend those kindness and compassion to others as well.
One of my most favorite ways to release judgment is doing mirror work – I really believe that before you look at others and build relationship with other people, you need to have that connection and love with yourself.
After my morning exercise, I usually take a quick 3 minutes break to the bathroom where I deeply look into my own eyes and acknowledge myself and you can do the same. A quick guide line is for you to acknowledge something that you have done really well, say your name and say that out loud. Showering yourself with compliments then follow by things that maybe you need to forgive yourself for. Remember, you might even want to forgive yourself for all these judgment that you put on yourself and others!
This mirror work might put you on the spot, it might feel weird and vulnerable but through vulnerability is when we get to know ourselves and become absolutely free.