Does this sound like you? Overwhelmed with emotions, not feeling supported and you’ve got chip on your shoulders, trying to keep everyone happy including the family and the kids.
Staying with your family for 24 hours can be challenging and if you are working from home too this might be even more overwhelming for you to manage it all. You are longing for some understanding, freedom and a breather where you can just be with yourself but the gym is closed, your favorite cafe is only doing take away and you feel stuck.
I hear you, some days are great, some days are down, to be in love with life & be happy during this rather overwhelming time takes work and commitment.
Before scrolling down to read, I invite you to take a few deep breaths and acknowledge that no matter where you are and what’s happening around you and your relationship that you are doing the very best that you can right now. Avoid beating yourself up to be perfect because it’s just not possible, instead focus on little wins, tiny wins and build your foundation from there.
Here are some of things that you CAN do during this Quarantine to lift your mood, stay in love and be happier.
Elevate Your Energy
Build a routine where you can do some of your favorite things that will bring you joy. This is not about your sister, your brother, your husband or your kids. It’s just you and your beautiful soul that is longing to be fed with some love and support. This also helps you to have that breather that you need so that through out the day, you are not screaming inside.
If there is one thing this virus has taught humanity is that how much all of us as a unit loves FREEDOM and how much humans long for love, support and wonderful relationships. Since you can’t runaway to your favorite holiday destination, the beach or even to your favorite gym and cafe, this is the next best thing you CAN do for yourself. I believe when your tank is full first, the rest of your day is easier and facing your triggers of the day is easier too.
Do: Set aside 10-15 minutes to elevate your energy.
Create Your Safe & Happy Zone
Since everyone is home and on lock-down with you, it’s very essential for you to create your own safe space where you can simply be and do whatever it is that you need to do. If you have a private room that’s great, make sure your family members know to knock on the door if they need something from you but if you don’t, I have a creative idea for you.
Choose your own safe and happy space, create an invisible door. If anyone really needs you (especially the kids) and your help around the house, they need to ask for permission and knock on this imaginary door.
I am a holistic practitioner of 7 years, worked with thousands of people, my oldest client was 5 years old and my youngest client is 70 years young so trust me, energetically, creating and visualizing this wall protecting your field WORKS! Last week, I shared some awesome tips on How You Can Work from Home, it’s a 7 minute video that you can watch to gain more ideas.
Your family members may or may not be saying this but they too need freedom and understanding, you might as well be the one to initiate this first. Setting clear work schedule also helps tremendously, everyone will get used to you being in this routine and they will slowly synch with it.
Do: Create an invisible wall of protection from negative energy, disturbance and triggers. Visualize and breathe in a color that resonates with you. Create safe space and set clear boundaries.
Make Yourself Happier First
Have you ever felt like you or your partner are emotionally unavailable for each other? Well, this is the time where you can’t run or hide from the facts. Emotions might fly high, things might hit the fan because all those things that has been suppressed over the years are coming up to the surface. T
While it might feel overwhelming because YOU are in the situation and can’t fully see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is actually a great thing because it’s inviting you to work through the issues either independently or together.
I work mainly with women who seek holistic support because they want to improve relationships with themselves and their surrounding and I can share with you this, that relationship whether it’s a marriage or even family members, takes both parties to make it work, however, it starts with ONE and that’s the beautiful you who’s reading this post.
Before I guide you there, let’s get one fact clear, humans cannot survive let alone thrive without relationships. As humans, there is deep longing to be loved and accepted, to release past pain and be free.
This shows that no matter how much money you do have, relationship is still a main ingredient that makes a human happy and fundamentally strong. Having said this, I’m not asking you to go around trying to change other people around you but rather for you to begin to investigate what makes YOU feel happier.
For example, what makes me happy is to get up in the morning and do an activity with my partner and since we have a different schedule and hobbies, I know I had to start doing that with myself and for myself. The more I shower myself with that gift, without having to resolve anything or initiate anything, since the quarantine, my partner and I suddenly found an activity that we both love which is to meditate and every Saturday at 7am we would be up together doing that.
Victor on the other hand loves an evening walk, I am more of a morning person and evening time is really my winding down time where I would rather couch and read. Victor began to take that walk with himself and for himself and what do you know, a few weeks into his routine, I felt like joining the walk too – not for the walk itself but for the fact that it’s our phone free time where we talk about our day.
As much as you’d want to throw the responsibility on the other person, the best way to improve relationship is to first take the responsibility and initiate what brings you joy for yourself first – the rest will truly follow.
Do: Make yourself happier first. Find joy in hobbies and things that makes you feel good.
Schedule It In
As Tony Robbins says, “What gets locked in, gets done.”
Whatever it is that you want for your life, whether it’s to have time to read an article, blog, exercise, meditate or even a cuddle with your partner, get that locked in and scheduled.
I was guilty as charged in the past as I would put my work ahead of everything else, its a pattern that I learned from my dad. He worked hard when I was growing up and still works very hard even in his 60’s. He wasn’t available for me emotionally because he would be working all the time, the only time, we would connect is if it’s related to ‘work.’
His pattern stays the same today but I’m a different person and so I can approach him and the situation differently.
Victor and I have had numerous arguments about this issue of me wanting to put my work first. I knew the pattern and I acknowledge that I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life ‘working,’ because it conflicts with my mission which is to help people be happier especially in the area of relationships!
Finally, I had to make a decision and my decision was to be smart with my time, work lesser and attract more abundance. I set aside a CLEAR schedule where I logged in the time of the things I want to do both professionally and personally. I began creating online booking system, hired more help instead of doing everything myself.
Don’t worry, at first, it was a mess but overtime all these things gets done and relationship becomes more fruitful naturally just because I changed.
Remember to create date night even on a lock-down, a movie night, a walk with your partner, a night where you tuck in the kids early so you can have your own free time, a night of bathtub, self-care and all things sensual because you deserve it.
If there is anything I learned prior to the quarantine, it’s that relationships are important and so creating an effective system for your daily chores and professional work is so essential.
Take your time to figure out what works for you – schedule it in so that it will happen if not today then tomorrow but it will because by doing that your subconscious mind is re-porgramming the system to reflect what you jot down.
Do: Create a clear schedule of your week personally and professionally.
Communicate & Connect
You would think that being together 24 hours 7 days a week won’t cause any problems but that’s not true at all, this is the time where everyone in your unit is feeling some sort of emotions – usually around sadness, anger, frustration, boredom and so on.
This is the time for you to take lots of deep breaths and build a courage to talk about what’s important because let’s face it, this is the time where relationships either thrive to the next level or break down.
I have recommended many of my clients to use Card Deck App by Gottman Institute because this helps you to use the right sentences when you want to talk about your feelings. It also helps you to talk about things that you might be avoiding like sex, intimacy, what you do like, the kind of support you would like to receive and get to know the other person’s map of the world. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago or even 1 month ago, you are constantly changing and transforming into the new you.
Communication is the foundation of relationship, most couples, family and even friendship falls apart not because of the lack of communication but rather the proper ways of communicating and connecting with the other person especially when levels of emotions are high and you are feeling overwhelmed and flooded.
Do: Balance your emotions, breathe and build up courage to talk openly about what’s been weighing you down.
Love Yourself First
Lastly, I want to remind you to love yourself first and that loving yourself is not at all selfish if you are doing it for your health, well-being, happiness and you are not taking advantage of other people. This is also a gentle reminder that other people might refuse to change but because you fill your own tank of love & respect, you build up a muscle of healthy tolerance and you begin to change your internal energy to attract new opportunities into your life.
I created a group called Love Yourself Asia – Community of Ultimate Self-Love to support you further, all the content, videos and daily inspiration is for you to feel loved and be in the positive and happier space. This is free for you to join and be a member.
I know first-hand how hard it is trying to navigate my own life and trying to figure it all out on my own, which is why throughout the quarantine period, I am offering a Free Coaching Call of 30 minutes where we can see how to support you.